Gross for Halloween

I enjoy walking around with my kids on my shoulders.  Just maybe not when they are sick...

This weekend Dude sneezed while he was up there.  And I mean SNEEZED - he seems to have a lot more stuff coming out of his nose at one time than any of the kids.  I cleaned it up at the store, only to be driving home and find another gob on the side of my head.  Super Lu had a good laugh at me.  Thanks a lot!

There's the reason people are always looking at us in the store; it's not that we're a transracial family, it's that the idiot father is walking around with snot chunks on his head.   And who says having a larger family is more expensive?  I am clearly saving $$$ on hair gel....

Speaking of gross, this morning I was getting the kids ready for the school bus & daycare (I take the morning shift, Super Lu picks them all up).  Dude's face was caked with nose run-off & then it was cooked on because he has a fever.  Probably not going to daycare.  Later, Spark Plug runs into the kitchen, says 'my throat hurts', runs to a corner, and proceeds to empty her guts all over the floor.  Twice.  Then she asks 'can we go now?'.  She is an amazing patient when sick or injured (the last time I was away for meetings, she fell asleep getting stitches in her head at the ER late in the evening).  Actually, our entire family are pretty good patients.

So I'm staying home today with 2 kids.  I'll still be able to get some work done, but not as much as normal.  I never have a shortage of work hours in a week, so this will be fine.  Just hope the little ones will feel better soon.

I.B.

House update

So here's a picture of the exterior of the house as we approach winter.  Super Lu has been doing a great job at choosing colors, products, etc. to make it all work.  I'm looking forward to seeing how it all comes together.  

Eventually there will be weathered cedar shakes in the peaks.  The front of the garage & where the white house wrap is on the front room (my study) will be rock work (we're required to have at least 100 sq ft by the city).  I've got some white tin pieces that will be bent around a 2x6 that will separate the siding (or rock work) from the shakes .

The garage floor gets poured within the next week & I am currently working on electrical & insulating the interior.  Still waiting on basement duct work & furnace - been waiting over a month....  There's still some framing to do (bulk heads, etc.) so I can properly insulate & hang gyproc in house and garage roof.  There's always something!!!!

And in other news, I finally succumbed and tried an energy drink.  Unfortunately (insert begrudging resignation here), they are not bad....  I had a cola version which probably helped a lot.  Not gonna lie, I'm mildly concerned about developing a mild addiction to them.  It perked me up & gave me a lot of energy to work.  And when I find something I like, I tend to ride that horse really hard. 

Considering I just received word that I need to take a class or leave the degree I'm enrolled in (& then re-enter and take extra classes and spend extra $$$ and take even longer for my degree....), I may need to buy stock in the energy drink sector since I don't drink coffee.  I'm 7 credits away from graduating.  And if I don't get those done by April 9, then I have extra requirements because they have been re-working the degrees (but I don't have to enter a new program though - lesser of 2 evils at this point - both are extra work, but one is significantly less in time & cost than the other option).  With everything else going on, it would probably take a miracle to get my distance learning credits done in time to graduate in April.  I've been working at getting up around 6-6:15am this week in hopes of gaining some extra time in my day to do school work.  The goal is 5:45 so I can start school or my work before Super Lu leaves for her job around 7:30.  We'll see how this goes....

Maybe this is what I'll ask for at Christmas (notice the cola version - not the plain)?  Some of you are puking just thinking about it!  And carrots?  Does that help?  Maybe some steak too....

I.B.

Everyday Candid Camera

If you want to experience candid camera, spend a day in public with a transracial family.

For me, being a part of a transracial family, is (mostly) amusing as our family goes to malls or grocery stores or swimming pools or ________.

Sometimes the looks/responses/reactions get a little redundant - but we'll never escape it.  Take for instance 2 days ago.  We went to pick up pumpkins in the afternoon for the kids (at what I think is one of the more multi-cultural grocery stores in the city).  I was walking with Sparkles about 15 steps behind the rest of the family and saw a couple start pointing & talking (different language - I couldn't understand) as Super Lu & the kids walked by.  Actually, it just started with a stare - then they started talking rapidly & jabbing the air with their finger.  I caught up & we stopped in the aisle for a bit.  2 minutes later these people were still talking and pointing.  Apparently it sparked some kind of discussion....  Their faces went from looks of confusion to frowning to quizzical.  I can only imagine what they were talking about.  I don't think it was about my new jacket, but I can't be sure!  The way they kept pointing, they must of thought that Dude's jacket really didn't match the rest of ours, because they kept coming back to him....

On the flip side, it gets amusing when we let our kids walk or play a few steps away from us (sometimes further depending if it's not a busy place).  When Dude gets more than a couple steps away from the rest of us, strangers start looking around for who they think should be Dude's parents - even though we're right there.  Our other kids can make it a least 3-4 times as far without any response from strangers.  A few months ago, one older woman got very quickly disgusted - so we just stayed a few paces back as she started muttering under her breath & looking frantically around.  She was obviously shocked when my wife picked Dude up & tickled him.  I was glad this woman was at least looking out for a child's well-being - I'm not sure I want to know what her assumptions were though....  In most cases, it's interesting & mildly entertaining to watch - depending on the person.  You can almost hear what they are thinking by watching their facial expressions.  The lightbulb starts to go on when we pick Dude up or one of the kids tickles him or chases him (or honestly, sometimes pushes & runs - they all think it's funny to do to each other sometimes.... Super Lu doesn't like when I push her & run though...).

I know that this offends some parents to go thru, but really, what else should we expect?

We don't try to be gender-indifferent (or ignore it), so why would we try to ignore that we are different skin colors?  That's ridiculous.  We're not stereotyping or singling anyone out.  We're equal but different.  Not a big deal.  Strangers see a different race and start looking for the corresponding parent.  If you don't like it, then start petitioning to take matching games or card games or sports jerseys off the market.  In the absence of information, our base response is to start matching the similarities.  Most card games involve matching numbers or suits.  I think matching similarities is how some people start to make friends.  Even if you are playing a pick-up basketball game with a few friends & a few strangers, you still need a different color jersey or to go "shirts & skins" to differentiate who is on the same team.  Matching is natural sometimes.  It's the prejudices, stereotypes or assumptions that accompany it that can be incredibly destructive.

I'll tell you this: we will NOT be getting matching shirts for every time we leave the house as a family!  We know who we're with - it's just fun to watch other people try to figure it out sometimes.

I.B.

Congratulation, Traction & get the Led out!

Fantastic news!

One of the boys I've been praying for has been adopted!  Kenny is now under the 'my family found me' section of Reece's Rainbow website.  How awesome is that!!?!?!  Congrats Kenny!!!!!

Keep praying for a family to find Calvin! 

In news relating to our next adoption: our adoption journey seems to be gaining some traction again.  Wheels are always spinning in the adoption world, but sometimes it does not look like any ground is being gained. Licenses are now in place with agencies on both sides of the ocean, so referrals will begin within the next couple months.  Travel is still not recommended because of a CIC advisory/investigation, but we are hopeful that it will be lifted in the next few months.  

Time passing away is difficult for any waiting parent & waiting child.  To be honest, the wait seems a little more 'loaded' our 2nd time thru the process because of adopting a child that's between 3.5-6.5 years old.  What kind of memories are they making & patterns are they forming?  Those are some pretty huge years for development & formation & identity...  Imagine suddenly adding a kindergarten kid into your home right now from another country.  That's kind of a big deal.  It probably sounds like a jerk thing to say, but I feel like it's more difficult for a 5 year old to wait another 6 months for a family than it is for a newborn.  They could be starting school....  But that's probably because of how invested I am.  I know that every kids needs a family ASAP.

I've wondered lately if adopting an older child (and a 5th one at that) changes things in people's minds.  Maybe it's just that people think we are ridiculous for having a 5th child join our family (or more).  When we went in to meet with our doctor when Super Lu found out she was pregnant with our 3rd child (Spark Plug), the doctor said: 'you DO know why THIS keeps happening, right?'.  If 3 seems like too much, I can only imagine what 5 sounds like.  Once our next son/daughter is home, we'll have 5 kids within 6 years of each other.  So I guess it sounds a little nutty!  We've become that odd-ball family.  But to be brutally honest, it hasn't slowed me down any.  This is our best attempt at discerning God's plan for how He wants us to build our family & live for Him.  That's kind of a big deal to us.  I will cringe (and pause a little) if I ever need to buy a 12 passenger van though....  7 of us will still fit in a minivan or a suburban.  And let's be honest - any more kids than that & we are not going very far for vacation.  Camping a few hours away might be a 2 vehicle trip at that point.  WOW.  Just realized that soon we may need 2 campsites depending on where we go.  That is really weird....

Being a decent sized family is extremely good though.  We just had a family movie night tonight - it was really refreshing.  I got to cuddle with all the kids at different times & watch them dance to the closing credits & then we chucked balls at each other.  SO MUCH FUN.  Did you know that they are telling teachers not to do that in school?  They are not suppose to make kids think of each other as targets.  I get it.  But really?  Do I want to live in a world without dodge ball or 'doctors & nurses'?  And apparently there are no more brainstorming sessions because it's too violent.  I'm serious.  They are now called having 'brainshowers'.  This is ridiculous.  Someone is laughing at us & making too much money off of these things.  I'm sure that some foreign mastermind is already plotting to take over our country when our children are grown...  If they can't even use the word 'storm', then we'll be ripe for the taking.  I might be messed up & have some aggressive-type issues to deal with though - I just realized that when we worked at camp, my wife & I's camp names were 'Storm' & 'Turbulence'.  I'm open to taking donations for counseling....  Turbulence was quite fitting.  I was the first caretaker to take out the fire house on the last day of camp.  Camp staff & campers might have been targets those days....

Anyway, you can tell I'm really tired because I'm rambling...  I think it's time to get the Led out...

I.B.

Excuses

I try to live without excuses, complaining, regrets or reserves, but it gets difficult some days. This is a day I feel like making excuses or complaining.

But I won't.
I may go to bed early though. 10:30 could be nice.
Maybe I'll even watch some tv....

In some random weird way, I kind of feel like Garfield right now - only I'm not craving lasagna. Hopefully nobody looks like Odie in the next few hours - they may be in for the surprise of a lifetime!

I.B.

You say go and I move my feet

There's a local band called 'Victoria Awake' that I enjoy listening to and (fortunately for me) they have their album release party in about a month.

3 out of the 4 guys in the band are a part of our church.  Because this blog has a bit of an adoption/orphan care bent, I'll pass on to you (in case you didn't already know) that Putz & his wife are in the early stages of adopting internationally (he plays bass in the band).  Also, the lead singer & his family have cleared their homestudy & will be starting to accept foster kids any day now.  Pretty cool!

Check out one of their songs & lyrics at: Victoria Awake - 'This Melody'

"Draw me in; sell me out; I won't go easily
This thin existence is fleeting living for only me

And then you speak and I stand
You say go and I move my feet
You shout be whole and I sing
What is this melody that's ringing in my head"

Enjoy!
I.B.

Party at the build?

Yesterday felt like a party at the build site.  I had 2 visitors!

The head trustee from our church offered to come for the afternoon & side with me (she's a former farm girl with a solid work ethic).  I'll have to think of a nickname for her....   Let me know if you have any ideas!   We were 18-20 feet up on ladders with the wind gusting & it started to rain.  Her last siding nail took a few minutes because her fingers didn't seem to want to work anymore in the cold!  Having some help when working up that high (with 12 foot lengths of siding) was a huge help.

And then Putz stopped by at supper with a surprise of couple cheeseburgers & a coke.  Had a great visit with him back at our rental while I shivered away the time - it's way too early in the year to be getting chilled like I did.  I had told him a while back that I won't ask for help again until it's -20 out.  It's been tempting lately, but I'll hold off asking till it's frigid out!  I bug him that I really haven't seen much of him at the build since March (he's been working a lot of overtime), but I know the real reason: he prefers the arctic blast of death instead of basking in the refreshing summertime heat.  That's why we call him Putz.

In other news that you probably don't care about, I have the biggest knot below my calf that I've had in a long time.  I guess that's what happens when you spend the better part of the day on a ladder.  There's no stretching guide or work out routine to prepare you for house building.  And no, I will not be writing that book.  Because frankly, I don't think any of us guys care.  Actually, I feel ashamed that I even thought of that idea...

Anyway, yesterday was a lot of social interaction in a day for the build when I'm not hiring the help!

And here's a random picture.  Even the kids stuffed animals have been over helping at the build & getting dirty.  This is Spark Plugs 'Binky' on a trip to the dump a month or so ago.  There's not suppose to be black grease on the face.... 

And here's a picture of our basement:

Later!

I.B.

Adoption talk in aisle 12

Guys are idiots about adoption sometimes.  But not the dude in aisle 12.

I met a stranger at S*feway last night.  We almost immediately got talking about adoption even though I didn't have Dude with me.  Honestly, I expect that the conversation might go that way when I'm a white guy walking around with my african son.  But I don't expect it when I'm just a guy buying a few quick groceries at closing time - alone.  That's when it's a little strange (but good).

Oddly enough, it's getting more common for me to meet strangers who are thinking about, in process or have adopted.  And it seems to happen to me without my kids around.  Like on an airplane or a beach.  Yep.  It's officially weird.  I never meet strangers who get talking about surfing or basketball or house building.  I never even run into strangers who share the same profession as me where we just happen to strike up a conversation about it.  It just happens with adoption.  I've had some interesting talks with random guys about the country Dude was born in... (maybe that's another post in the future).  But those only happen when I wear clothes that have the country's name on it.

So I checked my forehead & my clothing last night.  There's nothing written on it about adoption.  So I'm gonna chalk up these weird encounters to God arranging conversations...

Anyway, it turns out that this guy is a dad with 4 kids & he was adopted as a child.  He really wants to adopt, but his wife hasn't been interested or supportive of the idea.  So I listened & got to encourage him a little in aisle 12.  And he seemed to get excited.  It was a cool moment.  And it was encouraging to me in a number of ways - one of which was that we had just had friends over for Bible study and were talking about God searching people out & going to them where they were at.  Maybe S*feway was a spot that God was searching someone out last night?  Hopefully that's the first talk of many with this guy - because adopting kids is amazing & incredibly important, but there's also a vertical adoption with God that I've experienced that is life-changing and I want to invite people to consider that as well.

On the drive home I realized something: this is the first time I've met a dude whose wife is dragging their heels about adoption.  In my experience, it's always been the other way around.

So just a warning: my next post will probably be a rant about guys & adoption....  Because guys are idiots about adoption sometimes.  But not the dude in aisle 12.

I.B.

Good news

It's been a while since I had a moment like I did earlier today...

It's a mixture of 2 feelings summed up easiest like this:
A. elation & excitement
B. I just woke up and completely forgot about 1000 major assignments due today (and I haven't started any)

It's simple to connect where these are coming from:
A. We just received news that adoptions can continue in the country we had planned for (& have had our documentation submitted for the past 6 months)
B. Our house is soooo far behind where we need to be.

Because of the reality that this particular adoption program is based on what the child's needs are & THEIR best interests (we're not a number waiting in line for 'our turn'), we could get a child referral in 3 years or 3 months.  Since we felt led to adopt an older child who may have some medical needs, it is possible that a referral could come sooner than later.  The fact that a referral is even an option adds a whole new stress dynamic.  It also adds a whole new element of anticipation & energy.   It's REALLY good, but the not knowing (and only having 2-4 weeks from referral to travel) increases the pressure a little!

In other good news, I found out that I passed my framing inspection for the entire house (including basement).  Now to fix a couple of small things & get into electrical, insulation & vapor barrier - after I finish siding!  The soffit, fascia & eavestrough go on in just over a week.  Hopefully the furnace & water heater go in this month too.

It's been quite a day so far!

I.B.

Great video of a baby home

Here's a link to a great video promo of a baby home that we & Run 143 support.  There are some amazing staff there taking care of some pretty awesome kids!

Check it out here:  iKhaya Likababa promo video

Or check it out on the Run 143 blogspot with some other info about the upcoming Orphan Sunday our church is hosting.

I.B.

House battle scars

In the 'house battle' I am losing.

Most of the time when I get hurt over there, it's stuff that I can hide so that no one really worries too much. Like falling off/rolling down ladders, air nailing my finger, slamming my head into a cantilever, etc.  You limp and move slow, or your back hurts, but most people just assume you're stiff.  And most people will never notice a puncture in your finger.

Then I pulled a couple idiot moves within a few days of each other that were a little more noticeable...

Over a month ago I raked a 5 inch cut across my back on a screw.  You know it's kinda bad when your shirt is stuck to it a couple hours later.  It will probably make for a good reminder/story a year from now (just like my feet STILL hurting over a year later from the 1st Run 143 - attempting 6 marathons in 6 days after training for 6 weeks... seriously, who does that?)   Starting to see why I used the name for the blog?

And then a couple days later I tore a chunk off of the back of my finger with a hammer.   I put the skin on and put a band-aid on it for a few days.   Just curious... Are wounds suppose to stink a week later after washing them multiple times???  The skin is a different color, but it seemed attached.  That's good, right?  Don't worry, it's not green.  Not yet.  It actually fell off after 10 days & smells a lot better!

Later!
I.B.

Change in plans...

The plan was for me to be taking time off this week (and next) to work on the house, but all of the sudden I've got at least 4 days of work stuff booked in.  This is why I usually take holidays away from where I live!  I enjoy my job, but the nice days of outdoor work are slipping away...  And I've been really anxious about the house progress.

In other news, I had a good talk with my wife about our house-building goals and budget.  Because the key help can't assist us like we were trusting, we'll be hiring a few more things out because this is taking a LONG time.  It's been tough to keep seeing progress on the house with so much unexpected work things coming up over the last 6 months....  This has been a very unusual (but good) season of work for me.  But at least we're on the same page as a couple and regaining some confidence that we will see the end of this project eventually!  And we are very fortunate to be in the position we are in to have payed for the rest of Dude's adoption expenses by selling our last house.

Adoption news: found out on Friday that whenever we get a referral & need to travel, that it will be at least 6 weeks away this time instead of at least 4 (like last time).  I'd be really excited for 6 weeks if we didn't have 4 children at home already.  I'd love to be able to afford to take all of the kids with us!  We've pretty much decided that Super Lu will come home earlier to be with the rest of the kids & I'll spend the remaining time with our son/daughter over in Africa.  Which will be cool, but strange to only live with 1 kid instead of 4.   Good for attaching & bonding though I hope!   I can't imagine what 6 weeks (+ travel and who knows what other delays....) will be like to be away from the kids.  And even to be away from my wife.  In the last decade, the longest we've been a part at one time is 12 days.  The 3 older kids have done 4.5 weeks when we traveled to bring Dude home - which was quite long for them when they are so young.

I guess this is why the house has been getting a lot more stressful too.  The plan was to get this house done before a referral so that we could 1. have a home to accommodate everyone & be settled in.  2. Be able to get a secure loan to pay for this next adoption (which will probably be very difficult to do with a construction mortgage still open).  You can see why this might be stressful!  We've got some time before a referral is even possible... but on the other hand, we have set our dossier up toward adopting an older child (or sibling group) that might have medical needs - so a referral may come quicker since there is a need for families who want to adopt these kids & we are in a child-centered program (needs of the child are prioritized in finding a family).

So we're trusting God to figure out the timeline, details, & funds since we felt quite strongly that He was leading us this way in the first place.

Have a great week - I'll get some house pictures up soon!
I.B.