Finding Help

We've all used a common phrase that is a lie.  Good help is NOT hard to find.

It's hard to ask for.  And it's hard to help people to be good help (by motivating, giving them tasks/roles that actually have some value and are appropriate for their knowledge base or skill level, etc.)  And it's probably hard to find because you are being lazy.  I'm just saying.  And if it bothers you then it's probably true.  This does not just apply to building a house when you don't have a clue.  It was this way in our adoption process, my vocation, etc.  I am amazed by how many people complain about the adoption process and not knowing what they need and on & on & on, etc. etc. etc.  ASK SOMEONE!  Don't even get me started...

By the way, I was reminded about something important relating to the homestudy/approval process and the length it takes - it's not only necessary, legal, & about protecting innocent children, it's also extremely important in preparing parents (psychologically, emotionally, mentally, etc.) and their extended family/friend group.  How parents handle the process reflects more than they realize about their intention/ability/focus/commitment/priorities in adopting a child.

Back to good help NOT being hard to find...  Being an idiot shows this quite easily:
I've had to unlearn the smile & nod when someone is talking about something I do not understand.  Smiling & nodding stops me from learning.  When I go to order materials, I listen and clarify (and still mess things up regularly).  And even if something seems a little obvious, I still ask - i.e. yes they are insulated panels for below my cantilevers and no I am not suppose to do poly too or else I will trap moisture in.  For all you aspiring idiots out there, moisture is always a really bad thing in building that you avoid at all costs.

I've had to stop worrying about feeling like a fool (this one sucks as much or more than the others).  I'd be a bigger fool to royally mess something up by not asking, rather than just check with someone who obviously knows the answer.  i.e. 2 weeks ago I could have dropped a couple thousand on 3/8 reject (sand/dirt) that I didn't need for backfill & then need to pay another thousand+ to get the dirt already on my land moved.  Thanks for the 10 minute phone call to help me out Expert!  I'm usually 8/8 reject... But that day I was only 7/8 and avoided making a quick & stupid decision.  It's a good day when I'm not 8/8 reject.  (Can I say reject?  It's another variation of idiot, right?  Hopefully...  Maybe I'm turning into that older guy that misuses slang and it's really embarrassing for everyone but him (because he's clueless)!  We all have someone like that in our lives!)

And because of the above example, I'm slowly learning that being an idiot means I need to take my time in making decisions.  Quick decisions & pressure (internal or external) make for bad results when you are trying to learn.  It would be better for me to be a week or 2 behind then drop $4000 that I don't need to at this stage.  Really, at any stage.  Who wants to spend $4000 they don't need to?  Oh wait.  Thousands of people.  It's called consumerism & celebrity & narcissism.  No really, that haircut was worth flying your personal stylist across the country.  Maybe that's my next.... nope.  I'm not going to be the idiot hairstylist next.

I've been reminded to forget about the notion that answers should always be easy & at my fingertips.  Maybe mom was right when she'd always answer with "D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y".

I've learned that 'you can do it, we can help' is not just the Home Depot motto.  Most people are like that if you treat them right.  There are some friends that send a text or via discussion that share this in different ways (not just house related).  And that's what suppliers are for or manufacturers.  I called both a couple weeks ago and they were helpful - even though I was very quick & asked idiot questions.

I've also found that support comes from unexpected places.  Super Lu is always an incredible support, but my daughter 'Sparkles' has come out of nowhere to be one of my biggest encouragers and is rubbing off on my oldest son 'Mario'.  Their mom sets a good example for them, but they come up with their own spots & words just when I can start getting a little frustrated with lack of progress.

And lots of people offer to help, I just have to take them up on it.  Part of that is that I have also committed to not bug people for help - but when they do show up, I make sure it's fun but that stuff gets done.  There's nothing worse than people volunteering time or expertise and then standing around doing nothing.  Nobody wants to be a part of that.  P.s. it's a blast to help others & you find out interesting things about people.  I had 4 guys come over to help lift two 44ft LVL beams in place (it's 9 feet in the air - which means working on ladders & lifting above your head).  Besides laughing half the time, I found out for the first time that one of the guys (Photo Shop) was scared of heights... even worse than me!  And no - I'm really not looking forward to putting a roof system on the house.

So here's to good help!

Below are Spark-plug, Dude, and Mario being great help.  I was getting ansy & irritable waiting on the excavator that stood me up, so I started building the headers for above the windows in October (just because I could and it was nice out and it might save me 4 hrs in the frigid cold):

And yes, I built a few of them wrong... fixed now.  I forgot to make them 3 inches wider than the window (for the jack studs).   They are waiting patiently on our rental home's deck for their day of glory.  And now I don't have to listen to Pansy mock me for using a hammer instead of an air nailer. 

Speaking of help, Expert offered to stop by to help me on the house tomorrow!  And Putz may stop by too.  If not, Putz & I are at it most evenings this coming week (& I'm thinking of taking some days off).  It's suppose to hover around -1 as a high all week, which is incredible weather for us in January!  I'm hoping to get the exterior walls framed and raised by next weekend (at minimum).  Tomorrow is trying to finish off the floor system.

Thanks for plowing thru a long post!

Later,

I.B.

Mild case of 'Options' disease

I've recently been reminded that I have a a disease that infects 100% of people.  It's called 'options'.  A.K.A 'Excuses' in my homemade dictionary.  It's the same thing - only with a different rash....  I like options more than excuses.  It sounds like I'm being more mature.  But really, it's the same thing.  Considering options for too long becomes a disease that needs curing.  Considering options/excuses after you've made a decision rarely ever helps.  I hate excuses.  Except for when I use them...

Here's the definition from my homemade dictionary (Idiopedia): 'Options' (aka 'Excuses') is the disease of the uninspired procrastinator.  It presents itself as helpful, only to become an emotional & mental ponzi scheme that never pays what you invest in it and collapses on your head every single time, racking you with guilt, only to leave you worse off than where you started.  That's the coles notes version - you should see the unabridged one!

Practically speaking, it's easy to give myself mental options that lead me away from the discipline of working toward my goals.  I.e.  using the weather to determine whether I will work on the house on Saturdays.  This morning it was apparently around -41 with the wind chill.  Good thing today is not Saturday!  It was 'suppose' to be around -4 on Saturday and now the forecast has changed and is calling for -15 (without windchill).  Those 11 degrees are not that much difference for us here on the frozen tundra in January, but it's too easy to come up with another option - "I'll wait until _________.   It's not suppose to be as nice, so maybe I won't put in a day of working every single daylight hour."  Maybe it's a bad example since the glue I need to use in this next step is only rated to -17 (wind changes things in a hurry).  Believe it or not, those ratings actually mean something.  I exploded a couple tubes of PL300 in under a minute trying to seal up my foundation membrane before my last inspection.  They were rated to +5 and it was around -10.  Exploded.  Thanks for your applause - I am, as always, the idiot builder.

Back to excuses... I mean, options.  Honestly, it's like that with this ultra-marathon for orphans (and a number of other areas in my life).  I haven't verbally said that I want to try and finish every step this year - so no one knows & I have .... tada! 'options'.  Nobody asks if I've started to train or if my feet will even handle it (this past 4 weeks has been a dream - no pain in my feet when I wake up or when I walk).  It's easier when there is no verbal commitment.  In reality, I could just say that I'm not doing it at all at this point.  I have other 'options' (like building a house, working hard at my job, taking my family on vacation, still working toward my degree, etc. etc. etc.).  And when do I really have time to train, let alone organize that thing?

I don't know how I could not try after reading the homepage though (just went there & read it).  Stinking Sorestad.  Why do you have to write something inspiring?  Maybe it's not as much inspiring as it is 'remembering' for me.  Check it out at http://www.run143.com  - maybe I just need a few people to commit to part or all of the madness in order for me to get after it again.  Actually, no.  That's another excuse to wait.  It was worth it last year whether we raised a few hundred $ or a few thousand $ or inspired 1 person or 20 to consider the worldwide orphan crisis.  It will be worth it again.  That commitment is gonna leave a mark...  Hopefully a larger one than just pain in my body though!   I think I'm already having sympathy pain in my feet & legs just thinking about it.   It's like Pavlov's dog response.... Is that possible?  I'll have to check in my Idiopedia later.

Here's a pic at the completion of last year's epic week - it's one of those things that I'll probably tell my grandkids about.  I guess we do it so that more people will have grandkids to tell about it and more kids will have families to laugh with & be loved by.  I kind of hope I have hundreds of things like this that I tell my grandkids about - that's the kind of life I want to live.  But I guess it requires treating & destroying 'options & excuses' early & often.

Above: Sorestad 1 & 2, Mario, Spark-plug, Wonder Lu, Me, Dude, Sparkles, and Putz's wife (still working on a nickname for her)



Some days I look around & find it hard to believe that Dude has been in our family for over 9 months!   Our life has taken some different roads and been presented with a lot of cool opportunities since we felt God's leading to pursue adoption.

It's not even worth wondering what life would be like if I was not willing to treat my disease.


'Excuses & Options': treat early & often for a life with less regret.

Dear Putz, NEVER EVER!

Putz & I were out at it last night.  He showed up around 5:30 and we went until 9:45.  Not sure what the temperature was, but the wind was ripping around at 33+km/h.  I've never had ice flakes blow off the snow and sting my eyes like that before.  It still feels like I've got stuff stuck in my eyeballs today.  I may have to start wearing my Bono glasses more (just some protective glasses that are blue shaded).  You are always welcome to show up & wear them - I will guarantee that they will make you feel cool (and probably look a little goofy too).

Walking around with the subfloor sheathing & getting it onto the main level was interesting with the wind.  We lifted & moved about 25-30 of them onto the main level.  They must be around 4ft x 6ft.  It's like walking around with a sail up in that wind.  Or having wings.  Putz tried flying - he tied one to his arms & back and jumped off the main floor.  Kidding.  I pushed him...

p.s. Putz - guys never tell another dude to 'just grab it outta my pocket'.  I don't care if it's your insulated overall's.  NEVER EVER.

I was finally able to get someone over with a skidsteer to put the crushed rock over the weeping tile (a friend of Pansy's).  It looks like a lot to me, but I've been assured by a good friend that it's good.  He's been in the house building business for a while so I trust him.  He still needs a nickname for this blog - he's been a ton of help so far - I'll just call him Expert for now.  It's probably a good name since he knows a lot about random stuff.  Except about Mt. Everest.  My oldest daughter (Sparkles) showed him up once on the subject and she still remembers it.  Who knew that Mt. Everest actually gets slightly taller every year?  Tectonic plates baby!

And p.s. - I'm an idiot.  Up until a month ago, I honestly thought that weeping tile was more of a brittle tile.  It's actually a perferated tubing that runs along the footing of your house.  What idiot named it 'tile'? Not this guy.  There must be one other out there.

Still trying to catch up on pictures, so here are a few more:

Here's putting in the footing & pads (for the teleposts) with Expert in early November.  To be totally honest, this was the 2 days after I learned what an 'impact driver' was.  I now own two of them (both cordless - a light 12volt & a 18 volt).  Guess which guy looks like the expert and which looks like some guy without a clue?

Putting up the ICF (mid November) - what a great product to work with for an idiot.  I could help with a lot of it and I had someone with a lot of experience showing me how to do it & directing the pour (with some hired help).  The metal is temporary scaffolding - to work on & also adjusts really easy to straighten the wall.  Expert told us to anchor them by driving 3 ft pieces of rebar into the ground.  They then froze into the ground and are still stuck there.  My boots are getting ripped up because I keep tripping on them everywhere - yes I have bent a bunch of them over until I can figure out how to get them out.  Expert doesn't have any ideas about how to get them out either, so I don't feel so bad.  Somewhat related - I am positive that the pump truck operator tried to pour concrete on me when we filled the blocks.  Using the remote control, he lifted it just out of reach & kept the cement pouring... while he positioned it over my head.  Thanks man.
















The house just before Christmas so you can see Putz's launch pad (as you can see, there is nothing cutting the wind):





 Maybe in my next post I'll talk a little about Wonder Lulu & the kids.  This isn't suppose to just be about the house!

Until then, I am...
The Idiot Builder

My one reader taunts me!

Post #2 is because my wife is already heckling me about not updating this.  How do people have time to keep updates going every day?  I can't even find time to update every 2 weeks!

So for context here are some pictures to see the house process:
The top picture is from the week we purchased our lot (end of June).

This second picture is when we had it surveyed.  We sold our house & moved in between these two pictures.

This last picture was taken Nov 6th when we finally got a hole dug (me & the kids in the pic).  I had been 'stood up' 4 times by another company and they didn't return any calls over the previous 10 days to this picture - so a friend hooked me up with a great company who actually rented a machine to come do it early because a lot of rain/snow was expected soon.  Working with some trades companies is like a really bad dating game.    
And who knew it could be so nice in November?

One thing this picture does not show is that shortly after this I proceeded to drop my work keys down the storm sewer.  My brother-in-law ( I call him Putz - he is always calling me names from Grumpy Old Men) found some rubber boots, put them on and lowered himself down to try & find them (with plastic bags over his hands).  To no avail.  Respect points for even thinking of trying to find them - huge ones for going into the sewer.  Thanks Putz.  That was my first official day working on location.  Not a great start.

The work on the house definitely slowed down over the holidays.  My wife (Wonder Woman - but without the spandex or dark hair or super powers.... maybe I should call her LuLu Woman instead since that's the closest she gets to spandex...) & I committed to keep the same family routines during this process (aka family holidays & celebrations & Sundays off) since we have a young family.  No one will really care 10 years from now if I finished the home in October or November.  No one but me that is.  But my kids will remember if their Dad was never around and got into some bad routines for the rest of their lives.  I had planned to get out last Saturday (January 1), but it was -35 with the wind chill & I only got 4.5 hrs of sleep (up late & kids woke up early).  That was an easy decision.  L.W. was amazed that I was even still considering going out.

And I hate cutting insulated rim board - a friend (aka Pansy - the one who has labeled me 'the hillbilly builder') helped me a bit before Christmas and is now threatening to bring a video camera every time he comes so that people can laugh at me....  It only took me 4 tries to get the right cut on the 2.5 inch rim board...  Then we lifted it into place only to find that HE had measured wrong and it took him 2 tries to cut it right.  Nice.

I'll post some more recent pictures next time.

Until then,
I am.... the idiot builder.