Been putting in the time and seeing some progress.
FIL was in for a day to help (over a week ago) - it was awesome & perfect timing. We got some windows in & a couple doors. Then a few friends stopped by recently to help me lift a couple of 6x6 windows. As a result of the work, the 'dungeon look' in the basement is now gone - it now has natural light without boarded up windows. And most of the windows are installed. The plan is to have all of them finished by the end of tomorrow. Heating rough in and plumbing has also started and looks like it should be finished by Friday (when we have a progress inspection for our building mortgage).
My roof got delayed a number of times over the last 3 weeks, but they were out finishing it this morning! I'll snap some pictures tonight when I go to work over there.
I've actually felt like I've had a couple decent days of work on the house in the last 2 weeks. FIL started around 8:15 when I left to drop all the kids off at school & daycare and we wrapped up the day around 10pm. I was honestly tempted to keep working, but knew I needed to get home to see my bride and be somewhat functional for the next day! Putting in 2 hrs here or 3 hours there doesn't feel very good to me. I just get started & it gets dark or I have some commitment. I'm looking forward to taking some holidays this summer to put in some monster days.
I'll post some pictures in the next day or 2.
Later,
I.B.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Learning Curve
Some people were a little shocked when I announced that I was going to try and build a house for our family. And they were right to be shocked!
Before I began building our home, I literally had one hammer (a small finishing hammer - the kind of hammer that is smooth on the head for those of you who don't know), a couple screwdrivers, a utility knife, a sawzall, a tape measure and a few little random bits. I bought the sawzall - everything else, including the tool box this stuff was in, were gifts. I'm not exaggerating. There are kids in junior high that know more about building than I knew. Maybe there still are!
For as much discouragment there has been about my progress in building, I do like learning curves. They are good for me - they don't intimidate me. It's almost better for me to be thrown into the fire and learn as I go.
Maybe that's why I was disappointed watching kite-surfing lessons a year ago. We were in Africa with Dude sitting on a beach (waiting for his passport to be issued), when this class showed up to kite surf. I was pretty excited. The previous couple days we had spent enjoying the ocean and sitting on the beach watching people kite surf - we even met & watched the country's champion jumping in insane ways and flying around the ocean. I enjoyed it enough that I was considering signing up for lessons (and SuperLu really wanted me to).
But then I started watching the lessons.
They spent 2 full days on the beach. The first few hours they didn't even try on the gear or touch it. I was told that day 3 would be in the water, but we were checking out of our B&B that day so I never saw. That's too much theoretical learning and 'practicing' for me. I'd like some instruction, but then start testing it out and figure it out on the go with some help. That's how I learned to surf (I'm not great, but I love it). Mouth rented a board with me, told me how not to get my face smashed in by the board, showed me how to stand up on the board (and do it quick), and within 10 minutes we were making our way out into the ocean. I'd rather continue learning while I'm doing it than have all the answers ahead of time.
So maybe house building is right down my alley. One time! Not multiple homes - this is a labor of love & hopefully vision, not something I'm looking to do repeatedly!
Later,
I.B.
Before I began building our home, I literally had one hammer (a small finishing hammer - the kind of hammer that is smooth on the head for those of you who don't know), a couple screwdrivers, a utility knife, a sawzall, a tape measure and a few little random bits. I bought the sawzall - everything else, including the tool box this stuff was in, were gifts. I'm not exaggerating. There are kids in junior high that know more about building than I knew. Maybe there still are!
For as much discouragment there has been about my progress in building, I do like learning curves. They are good for me - they don't intimidate me. It's almost better for me to be thrown into the fire and learn as I go.
Maybe that's why I was disappointed watching kite-surfing lessons a year ago. We were in Africa with Dude sitting on a beach (waiting for his passport to be issued), when this class showed up to kite surf. I was pretty excited. The previous couple days we had spent enjoying the ocean and sitting on the beach watching people kite surf - we even met & watched the country's champion jumping in insane ways and flying around the ocean. I enjoyed it enough that I was considering signing up for lessons (and SuperLu really wanted me to).
But then I started watching the lessons.
They spent 2 full days on the beach. The first few hours they didn't even try on the gear or touch it. I was told that day 3 would be in the water, but we were checking out of our B&B that day so I never saw. That's too much theoretical learning and 'practicing' for me. I'd like some instruction, but then start testing it out and figure it out on the go with some help. That's how I learned to surf (I'm not great, but I love it). Mouth rented a board with me, told me how not to get my face smashed in by the board, showed me how to stand up on the board (and do it quick), and within 10 minutes we were making our way out into the ocean. I'd rather continue learning while I'm doing it than have all the answers ahead of time.
So maybe house building is right down my alley. One time! Not multiple homes - this is a labor of love & hopefully vision, not something I'm looking to do repeatedly!
Later,
I.B.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Perceptions
Expert's wife called last night about a kids birthday party - a time for our family to come and hang out. During the conversation, she mentioned a phrase that I had never thought of. It went something like "well, with having a full-time job and a large young family, house building is basically your hobby!". Then, when talking with a stranger yesterday with my family around, he found out that I was building our house and asked what I did for a living - then remarked that building the house must be my hobby.
Hobby?
That puts me in a different frame of mind about building.
If only it was a hobby that was energizing & fun or marked by leisure! It's definitely not a hobby that I am almost sneaking out of the house to get to. There's no buddies calling for me to get out & build with them (like going golfing or wall-climbing or something else). But essentially she's right - house building is what happens in (or dominates) my leisure time. I think most of my expectations about house building have been that it's going too slow or I don't know enough. The comparison is with people who build full-time or the other houses around that are going up quicker than mine. Realizing it's more of a hobby than another job could actually help me find a little more joy and less pressure to be further ahead. My expectations of myself are usually incredibly high - managing my own expectations is probably the most difficult area of my daily life. Working in the plummeting temperatures in the winter and the steep learning curve are a lot easier things for me to deal with than my own expectations! Another way our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses.
Relating to that, I realized today that expectation/perceptions also keep me from doing well at some other areas or even trying them. A friend texted me about a topic and I replied that I don't like 'playing games' with people - so politics is not in my future! To which he replied 'not even survivor?' I guess I would do alright at survivor - the difference is that there's an expectation that it's a game. Maybe there's that expectation in politics too - I'll have to ask someone! But this conversation led me to the fact that my expectations of people or situations or opportunities is what holds me back more than basic skills or abilities.
I could be completely wrong, but it seems like what separates elite athletes is confidence. A perception that they are superior or better or can get the job done better than the next person. Certainly all of the training and natural abilities are important, but it's also confidence. Swagger. It's the same with public speakers or communicators - their expectation when they begin is that it will be great and it usually is in people's perception (unfortunately even if there's very little substance - they're so confident and charismatic that it masks content).
So I'm working on my perceptions & expectations - and more specifically about building a home for my family.
Later!
I.B.
Hobby?
That puts me in a different frame of mind about building.
If only it was a hobby that was energizing & fun or marked by leisure! It's definitely not a hobby that I am almost sneaking out of the house to get to. There's no buddies calling for me to get out & build with them (like going golfing or wall-climbing or something else). But essentially she's right - house building is what happens in (or dominates) my leisure time. I think most of my expectations about house building have been that it's going too slow or I don't know enough. The comparison is with people who build full-time or the other houses around that are going up quicker than mine. Realizing it's more of a hobby than another job could actually help me find a little more joy and less pressure to be further ahead. My expectations of myself are usually incredibly high - managing my own expectations is probably the most difficult area of my daily life. Working in the plummeting temperatures in the winter and the steep learning curve are a lot easier things for me to deal with than my own expectations! Another way our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses.
Relating to that, I realized today that expectation/perceptions also keep me from doing well at some other areas or even trying them. A friend texted me about a topic and I replied that I don't like 'playing games' with people - so politics is not in my future! To which he replied 'not even survivor?' I guess I would do alright at survivor - the difference is that there's an expectation that it's a game. Maybe there's that expectation in politics too - I'll have to ask someone! But this conversation led me to the fact that my expectations of people or situations or opportunities is what holds me back more than basic skills or abilities.
I could be completely wrong, but it seems like what separates elite athletes is confidence. A perception that they are superior or better or can get the job done better than the next person. Certainly all of the training and natural abilities are important, but it's also confidence. Swagger. It's the same with public speakers or communicators - their expectation when they begin is that it will be great and it usually is in people's perception (unfortunately even if there's very little substance - they're so confident and charismatic that it masks content).
So I'm working on my perceptions & expectations - and more specifically about building a home for my family.
Later!
I.B.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Family News!!
There will be a 5th child in our future!!! We don't know when or who, but our part is all finished with paperwork & meetings!
We've been a little hesitant to share news about our adoption plans with people. There's probably a few reasons for that, not all of which are necessarily valid... Mostly it's because of a few things:
1. the apparent insanity of our lives right now with 4 kids & building a house while working our regular jobs
2. the fact that we know people who are still waiting for a child via adoption and here we are jumping back in for another while they are still waiting
3. there are some range of acceptance details that are a bit different this time around
At any rate, all of our paperwork is with our agency and ready for them to do whatever they want with it. For those of you who know our story, we plan on working with the same agency & country as with adopting Dude. That is, we'll be adopting from the same country when the country opens up again after all of the law/policy/procedure changes they are trying to implement....
I'll share more details in the days ahead!
Later!
I.B.
We've been a little hesitant to share news about our adoption plans with people. There's probably a few reasons for that, not all of which are necessarily valid... Mostly it's because of a few things:
1. the apparent insanity of our lives right now with 4 kids & building a house while working our regular jobs
2. the fact that we know people who are still waiting for a child via adoption and here we are jumping back in for another while they are still waiting
3. there are some range of acceptance details that are a bit different this time around
At any rate, all of our paperwork is with our agency and ready for them to do whatever they want with it. For those of you who know our story, we plan on working with the same agency & country as with adopting Dude. That is, we'll be adopting from the same country when the country opens up again after all of the law/policy/procedure changes they are trying to implement....
I'll share more details in the days ahead!
Later!
I.B.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Pity
I don't like correcting people unnecessarily. But the way well-meaning people communicate makes it difficult to give them the benefit of the doubt (I still try to - it's always a choice to try to understand the best or worst of people).
This is experienced a lot related to our adoption & pity. The language used makes adoptive parents sound like saints (which is wrong). Even the basic pondering of someone else saying 'imagine what life would be like for them right now if you had not come along' reveals pity. To be fair, some people are actually inspired and are in awe or filled with compassion, but many follow it up with 'I could never do that'. Of course you couldn't because it's never crossed your radar screen. You've got others things to do instead! Get to them!
I don't know about most people, but it certainly was not pity that led me to adopt. Pity seems to be very temporary and fleeting at best. You can have pity on someone that was crossing the street and got hit by a car, but how many of us go visit them, pay their medical expenses, care for them, and enjoy life with them. Zero. None of us would. Pity does not sustain you through 3 year old children's tantrums. Pity does not help you wipe up vomit from all over a bed night after night. Pity does not help you consistently and fairly set boundaries for your children and walk through the consequences of breaking them (let's be honest, enforcing consequences usually means a lot more difficult time for the parents!). Pity doesn't lead you to sleep on your child's floor night after night because they are having trouble sleeping. Pity might throw $20 at an issue. Love moved us to adopt. Pity is a natural reaction, but love is a commitment.
And it's not charity either (as we typically think of it). We are not just allowing a kid to use our home and clothe them until they can get their act together. We are parenting them - even if they end up in trouble throughout their lives and sleep on our couch when they are 30. This is a commitment to love them no matter what happens. Everything we have is theirs - even before we find out who they are in a referral. And maybe that's one aspect that a lot of people have trouble understanding.
We didn't adopt them in order to enter sainthood. And we didn't adopt them and have them sign a contract that they will be extremely successful in life.
We adopt because kids are awesome & they are important to God.
This is experienced a lot related to our adoption & pity. The language used makes adoptive parents sound like saints (which is wrong). Even the basic pondering of someone else saying 'imagine what life would be like for them right now if you had not come along' reveals pity. To be fair, some people are actually inspired and are in awe or filled with compassion, but many follow it up with 'I could never do that'. Of course you couldn't because it's never crossed your radar screen. You've got others things to do instead! Get to them!
I don't know about most people, but it certainly was not pity that led me to adopt. Pity seems to be very temporary and fleeting at best. You can have pity on someone that was crossing the street and got hit by a car, but how many of us go visit them, pay their medical expenses, care for them, and enjoy life with them. Zero. None of us would. Pity does not sustain you through 3 year old children's tantrums. Pity does not help you wipe up vomit from all over a bed night after night. Pity does not help you consistently and fairly set boundaries for your children and walk through the consequences of breaking them (let's be honest, enforcing consequences usually means a lot more difficult time for the parents!). Pity doesn't lead you to sleep on your child's floor night after night because they are having trouble sleeping. Pity might throw $20 at an issue. Love moved us to adopt. Pity is a natural reaction, but love is a commitment.
And it's not charity either (as we typically think of it). We are not just allowing a kid to use our home and clothe them until they can get their act together. We are parenting them - even if they end up in trouble throughout their lives and sleep on our couch when they are 30. This is a commitment to love them no matter what happens. Everything we have is theirs - even before we find out who they are in a referral. And maybe that's one aspect that a lot of people have trouble understanding.
We didn't adopt them in order to enter sainthood. And we didn't adopt them and have them sign a contract that they will be extremely successful in life.
We adopt because kids are awesome & they are important to God.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Some progress
Putz was over helping for the afternoon & evening yesterday (I started first thing in the morning). By the time we were done he had helped for close to 9 hrs and I had been out long enough!
As promised, an updated picture of our home!
The 2 smaller windows in the room above the garage are for our ensuite bathroom. I think we may add another at the front that is long & narrow (where the shower will be). Yes, there are now toys on site... Not only do dump truck need a ramp, they also need to hit jumps every once in a while! I would actually pay to watch that happen in real life. Wouldn't you?
And here is a picture of our first ever family meal in our new home. We'll let the kids eat in the living room just this once! There may be ketchup spots on the floor already....
Yesterday I learnt that:
1. a 21 ft wall with 2 windows is about max for Putz & I to lift together. There may have been little grunting involved and a thought of 'what if this falls on us?' What should have gone thru my mind is 'why didn't we use the wall jacks?' What I wondered afterward was 'did Putz even help or did I lift that thing solo?'
2. that it's good to test your limits and know what you are capable of. It's energizing and sobering and always a good story if you survive. Most of us know what we are capable in a bad sense, but how many of us know our positive limits?
3. that I keep laying out the spacing on my walls wrong and always have to add an extra stud at the beginning to make it work. Problem solver? Not me. Problem maker? Maybe.... Get it done baby!!
4. that maybe I should figure out the measuring and stud spacing issue on my walls... for real.
5. that I prefer aching & throbbing pain rather than sharp cutting pain. I'd rather slam my head into a corner (yes, it was by accident - and still hurts quite a bit) than gouge out a part of my flesh.
6. that I can't imagine doing this with anything less than amazing & full support of my wife and kids. They have been incredible thru all of this. SuperLu is an incredible mom (as witnessed with spending the night before & all of mother's day taking care of a puking kid and whipping together a good supper last minute when we had to cancel our date because puking kid was at it again).
Later,
I.B.
As promised, an updated picture of our home!
The 2 smaller windows in the room above the garage are for our ensuite bathroom. I think we may add another at the front that is long & narrow (where the shower will be). Yes, there are now toys on site... Not only do dump truck need a ramp, they also need to hit jumps every once in a while! I would actually pay to watch that happen in real life. Wouldn't you?
Yesterday I learnt that:
1. a 21 ft wall with 2 windows is about max for Putz & I to lift together. There may have been little grunting involved and a thought of 'what if this falls on us?' What should have gone thru my mind is 'why didn't we use the wall jacks?' What I wondered afterward was 'did Putz even help or did I lift that thing solo?'
2. that it's good to test your limits and know what you are capable of. It's energizing and sobering and always a good story if you survive. Most of us know what we are capable in a bad sense, but how many of us know our positive limits?
3. that I keep laying out the spacing on my walls wrong and always have to add an extra stud at the beginning to make it work. Problem solver? Not me. Problem maker? Maybe.... Get it done baby!!
4. that maybe I should figure out the measuring and stud spacing issue on my walls... for real.
5. that I prefer aching & throbbing pain rather than sharp cutting pain. I'd rather slam my head into a corner (yes, it was by accident - and still hurts quite a bit) than gouge out a part of my flesh.
6. that I can't imagine doing this with anything less than amazing & full support of my wife and kids. They have been incredible thru all of this. SuperLu is an incredible mom (as witnessed with spending the night before & all of mother's day taking care of a puking kid and whipping together a good supper last minute when we had to cancel our date because puking kid was at it again).
Later,
I.B.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Soundtrack?
Music adds a little different dimension to our lives. Maybe it's just me, but looking back there are different 'soundtracks' for different seasons of my life.
Here's a song from a band I've been enjoying lately. I wonder what the soundtrack/theme is these days for me? Or for you?
Later,
I.B.
Here's a song from a band I've been enjoying lately. I wonder what the soundtrack/theme is these days for me? Or for you?
Later,
I.B.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Back on the grid
Hey - it's been a while. Got back from a work related trip (11 days). It was awesome - but incredibly draining. I must be getting old! Now back to family life & the build. While I was away I was reminded about how fun & resilient teenagers are despite all the garbage they deal with (and there was so much we found out about that it was almost overwhelming - a suicide of someone a few years younger than them barely fazed them compared to what they live with). But they were a blast & we had a lot of very significant conversations. And a little fun too!
It's getting into the off & on rainy season here - so building will be hit & miss depending on what I am working on. If I can get the framing finished this week, the roof should be on within a week. That would really help to have it at lock up so I can work whenever (outside siding when it's dry, inside when it's wet out). We'll see what happens. Our windows & doors get delivered next Wednesday. There's quite a lot of pressure in doing this while working hard at our jobs & caring for a large family and it seems like we're always getting tempted to violate our priorities - there's always more work to do at my job or the build. Fortunately SuperLu's job has very defined work hours with virtually no take home work - predictable is good for her in that area. My job never seems to have the same schedule from week to week - and unfortunately I don't get paid for all the extra hours. I guess it's a small price to pay to do something that I enjoy & find fulfillment in. But due to the extra, we're having to revisit our boundaries and firm them up again. The pressure of the moment makes it tough to stick to it sometimes though. Ultimately I keep trying to remind myself that the house will get built and that people are more important. There just doesn't seem to be an end to people that need counsel/direction/a listening ear/prayer/support/etc. Don't get me wrong: it's good - just never ending.
Anyway, I'll post again soon. Maybe once I get my bonus room walls up (hopefully by the end of Saturday!) & I can post a picture.
Later,
I.B.
It's getting into the off & on rainy season here - so building will be hit & miss depending on what I am working on. If I can get the framing finished this week, the roof should be on within a week. That would really help to have it at lock up so I can work whenever (outside siding when it's dry, inside when it's wet out). We'll see what happens. Our windows & doors get delivered next Wednesday. There's quite a lot of pressure in doing this while working hard at our jobs & caring for a large family and it seems like we're always getting tempted to violate our priorities - there's always more work to do at my job or the build. Fortunately SuperLu's job has very defined work hours with virtually no take home work - predictable is good for her in that area. My job never seems to have the same schedule from week to week - and unfortunately I don't get paid for all the extra hours. I guess it's a small price to pay to do something that I enjoy & find fulfillment in. But due to the extra, we're having to revisit our boundaries and firm them up again. The pressure of the moment makes it tough to stick to it sometimes though. Ultimately I keep trying to remind myself that the house will get built and that people are more important. There just doesn't seem to be an end to people that need counsel/direction/a listening ear/prayer/support/etc. Don't get me wrong: it's good - just never ending.
Anyway, I'll post again soon. Maybe once I get my bonus room walls up (hopefully by the end of Saturday!) & I can post a picture.
Later,
I.B.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)