Been having short, but good talks with my wife over the last few nights about adopting an older child. Seems like we are having them daily - sorry Super Lu! There's a lot to process & consider - especially for me since I don't work with child development or the medical field! Our range of acceptance is a sliding scale as each day passes, so today the child joining our family would be somewhere between 4-6.5 years old. For perspective sake, she/he could be kindergarten age now????
We're realizing that there is a lot of little things that we take for granted as a family that will need to be constantly explained to our next child. This is what is going to happen at birthday parties & why (so don't worry!).... This is why we go to Sparkles' ballet concert or Mario's soccer game.... This is what a brother means..... This is your room and YOU get to choose what's in it... This is what family vacation is.... This is our tradition at Easter or at Thanksgiving or at Christmas.... It gets really cold here, so this is why you need to wear your mittens (and this is what mittens are)....
Not only is it an adoption into a family, at this age it's also an immigration. I can feel a little stressed entering a new culture, I can't imagine what it would be like for a little one who can process what's going on (of course a baby notices, but on a different level). Foods & tastes will be noticeably different (beef is more of a staple here and not as common there). Smells are a lot different (hopefully they like pine trees...). Even some words are different even if they speak English! The trees are all different... Some of the dirt is a different colour... There's suddenly a lot of white faces around with weird accents..... There aren't wired/electrified fences around homes.... We have gophers instead of geckos.... If they've been out driving in a car much, they'll notice there is really no one walking on the side of the highway (quite different than where they live)....
And snow... That will be a really fun day to watch! As will the day they get to meet their 2 brothers & 2 sisters!
It's going to be difficult for them not to be over-stimulated when they come home! There's a lot of changes coming - we're trusting that we'll have the patience & grace to deal with them lovingly.
I.B.
We're realizing that there is a lot of little things that we take for granted as a family that will need to be constantly explained to our next child. This is what is going to happen at birthday parties & why (so don't worry!).... This is why we go to Sparkles' ballet concert or Mario's soccer game.... This is what a brother means..... This is your room and YOU get to choose what's in it... This is what family vacation is.... This is our tradition at Easter or at Thanksgiving or at Christmas.... It gets really cold here, so this is why you need to wear your mittens (and this is what mittens are)....
Not only is it an adoption into a family, at this age it's also an immigration. I can feel a little stressed entering a new culture, I can't imagine what it would be like for a little one who can process what's going on (of course a baby notices, but on a different level). Foods & tastes will be noticeably different (beef is more of a staple here and not as common there). Smells are a lot different (hopefully they like pine trees...). Even some words are different even if they speak English! The trees are all different... Some of the dirt is a different colour... There's suddenly a lot of white faces around with weird accents..... There aren't wired/electrified fences around homes.... We have gophers instead of geckos.... If they've been out driving in a car much, they'll notice there is really no one walking on the side of the highway (quite different than where they live)....
And snow... That will be a really fun day to watch! As will the day they get to meet their 2 brothers & 2 sisters!
It's going to be difficult for them not to be over-stimulated when they come home! There's a lot of changes coming - we're trusting that we'll have the patience & grace to deal with them lovingly.
I.B.
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