Perceptions

Expert's wife called last night about a kids birthday party - a time for our family to come and hang out.  During the conversation, she mentioned a phrase that I had never thought of.  It went something like "well, with having a full-time job and a large young family, house building is basically your hobby!".  Then, when talking with a stranger yesterday with my family around, he found out that I was building our house and asked what I did for a living - then remarked that building the house must be my hobby.

Hobby?

That puts me in a different frame of mind about building.

If only it was a hobby that was energizing & fun or marked by leisure!  It's definitely not a hobby that I am almost sneaking out of the house to get to.  There's no buddies calling for me to get out & build with them (like going golfing or wall-climbing or something else).  But essentially she's right - house building is what happens in (or dominates) my leisure time.  I think most of my expectations about house building have been that it's going too slow or I don't know enough.  The comparison is with people who build full-time or the other houses around that are going up quicker than mine.  Realizing it's more of a hobby than another job could actually help me find a little more joy and less pressure to be further ahead.  My expectations of myself are usually incredibly high - managing my own expectations is probably the most difficult area of my daily life.  Working in the plummeting temperatures in the winter and the steep learning curve are a lot easier things for me to deal with than my own expectations!  Another way our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses.

Relating to that, I realized today that expectation/perceptions also keep me from doing well at some other areas or even trying them.  A friend texted me about a topic and I replied that I don't like 'playing games' with people - so politics is not in my future!  To which he replied 'not even survivor?'  I guess I would do alright at survivor - the difference is that there's an expectation that it's a game.  Maybe there's that expectation in politics too - I'll have to ask someone!  But this conversation led me to the fact that my expectations of people or situations or opportunities is what holds me back more than basic skills or abilities.

I could be completely wrong, but it seems like what separates elite athletes is confidence.  A perception that they are superior or better or can get the job done better than the next person.  Certainly all of the training and natural abilities are important, but it's also confidence.  Swagger.  It's the same with public speakers or communicators - their expectation when they begin is that it will be great and it usually is in people's perception (unfortunately even if there's very little substance - they're so confident and charismatic that it masks content).

So I'm working on my perceptions & expectations - and more specifically about building a home for my family.

Later!
I.B.