Finding Help

We've all used a common phrase that is a lie.  Good help is NOT hard to find.

It's hard to ask for.  And it's hard to help people to be good help (by motivating, giving them tasks/roles that actually have some value and are appropriate for their knowledge base or skill level, etc.)  And it's probably hard to find because you are being lazy.  I'm just saying.  And if it bothers you then it's probably true.  This does not just apply to building a house when you don't have a clue.  It was this way in our adoption process, my vocation, etc.  I am amazed by how many people complain about the adoption process and not knowing what they need and on & on & on, etc. etc. etc.  ASK SOMEONE!  Don't even get me started...

By the way, I was reminded about something important relating to the homestudy/approval process and the length it takes - it's not only necessary, legal, & about protecting innocent children, it's also extremely important in preparing parents (psychologically, emotionally, mentally, etc.) and their extended family/friend group.  How parents handle the process reflects more than they realize about their intention/ability/focus/commitment/priorities in adopting a child.

Back to good help NOT being hard to find...  Being an idiot shows this quite easily:
I've had to unlearn the smile & nod when someone is talking about something I do not understand.  Smiling & nodding stops me from learning.  When I go to order materials, I listen and clarify (and still mess things up regularly).  And even if something seems a little obvious, I still ask - i.e. yes they are insulated panels for below my cantilevers and no I am not suppose to do poly too or else I will trap moisture in.  For all you aspiring idiots out there, moisture is always a really bad thing in building that you avoid at all costs.

I've had to stop worrying about feeling like a fool (this one sucks as much or more than the others).  I'd be a bigger fool to royally mess something up by not asking, rather than just check with someone who obviously knows the answer.  i.e. 2 weeks ago I could have dropped a couple thousand on 3/8 reject (sand/dirt) that I didn't need for backfill & then need to pay another thousand+ to get the dirt already on my land moved.  Thanks for the 10 minute phone call to help me out Expert!  I'm usually 8/8 reject... But that day I was only 7/8 and avoided making a quick & stupid decision.  It's a good day when I'm not 8/8 reject.  (Can I say reject?  It's another variation of idiot, right?  Hopefully...  Maybe I'm turning into that older guy that misuses slang and it's really embarrassing for everyone but him (because he's clueless)!  We all have someone like that in our lives!)

And because of the above example, I'm slowly learning that being an idiot means I need to take my time in making decisions.  Quick decisions & pressure (internal or external) make for bad results when you are trying to learn.  It would be better for me to be a week or 2 behind then drop $4000 that I don't need to at this stage.  Really, at any stage.  Who wants to spend $4000 they don't need to?  Oh wait.  Thousands of people.  It's called consumerism & celebrity & narcissism.  No really, that haircut was worth flying your personal stylist across the country.  Maybe that's my next.... nope.  I'm not going to be the idiot hairstylist next.

I've been reminded to forget about the notion that answers should always be easy & at my fingertips.  Maybe mom was right when she'd always answer with "D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y".

I've learned that 'you can do it, we can help' is not just the Home Depot motto.  Most people are like that if you treat them right.  There are some friends that send a text or via discussion that share this in different ways (not just house related).  And that's what suppliers are for or manufacturers.  I called both a couple weeks ago and they were helpful - even though I was very quick & asked idiot questions.

I've also found that support comes from unexpected places.  Super Lu is always an incredible support, but my daughter 'Sparkles' has come out of nowhere to be one of my biggest encouragers and is rubbing off on my oldest son 'Mario'.  Their mom sets a good example for them, but they come up with their own spots & words just when I can start getting a little frustrated with lack of progress.

And lots of people offer to help, I just have to take them up on it.  Part of that is that I have also committed to not bug people for help - but when they do show up, I make sure it's fun but that stuff gets done.  There's nothing worse than people volunteering time or expertise and then standing around doing nothing.  Nobody wants to be a part of that.  P.s. it's a blast to help others & you find out interesting things about people.  I had 4 guys come over to help lift two 44ft LVL beams in place (it's 9 feet in the air - which means working on ladders & lifting above your head).  Besides laughing half the time, I found out for the first time that one of the guys (Photo Shop) was scared of heights... even worse than me!  And no - I'm really not looking forward to putting a roof system on the house.

So here's to good help!

Below are Spark-plug, Dude, and Mario being great help.  I was getting ansy & irritable waiting on the excavator that stood me up, so I started building the headers for above the windows in October (just because I could and it was nice out and it might save me 4 hrs in the frigid cold):

And yes, I built a few of them wrong... fixed now.  I forgot to make them 3 inches wider than the window (for the jack studs).   They are waiting patiently on our rental home's deck for their day of glory.  And now I don't have to listen to Pansy mock me for using a hammer instead of an air nailer. 

Speaking of help, Expert offered to stop by to help me on the house tomorrow!  And Putz may stop by too.  If not, Putz & I are at it most evenings this coming week (& I'm thinking of taking some days off).  It's suppose to hover around -1 as a high all week, which is incredible weather for us in January!  I'm hoping to get the exterior walls framed and raised by next weekend (at minimum).  Tomorrow is trying to finish off the floor system.

Thanks for plowing thru a long post!

Later,

I.B.