Finally not my fault!

This is my gradebeam.
This is a crack.
This is my gradebeam with crack.
Get the picture?

As far as the experts & those with experience are concerned, it's not my fault.  And it's more cosmetic - not too bad structurally (but will still get fixed).

You heard right! So for those of you keeping score:
House: 1 mistake
Me: 3,294,483+ mistakes

As far as $ value of mistake (not factoring time or energy), this will be the worst one.  To be fair, it's probably not the house as much as the dirt.  But seriously, who blames dirt?  Or a house I guess.....

I'm still losing, but watch out!  I feel a winning streak coming on!
Later,
I.B.

A few lessons learnt being a dad

There are some things that I'd rather the kids learn while I'm around to protect them or help frame their experience.

Check out Mario in the middle!!!  HA!!!! - you can click on the pic to zoom in & see him better

I'm not saying that I'll ever be asked to write a parenting book or anything....  But here are a few things I've been learning about being a dad:

EXAMPLE #1  - When things explode, use the shrapnel for fun

Ahhh, Mario.  He's always good to share in a laugh or make one for everyone else!  We were out grabbing a quick supper after Sparkles' ballet recital a few days ago and the ketchup was not coming out for his fries.  So Mario squeezed harder.  Nothing.  Then he does what anyone would do - he flips it up to look and see if anything was blocking the nozzle.  Then (for some unknown reason!) he squeezed it again....
The next morning we were still washing ketchup out of his nose!
I dared him to do it again & told him I'd give him $5.  Apparently I'm not teaching him good things... He started coming up with all sorts of other scenarios to earn a little extra money!  And we laughed a lot!


EXAMPLE #2 - Celebrate the edge
Spark Plug is incredibly strong for her age.  She's also learned to climb.  I caught her climbing on to the top of her sister's bunk a couple nights ago (no where near the ladder) and was amazed.  Just as she was about to pull herself up the rest of the way, she noticed me & stopped - and stared at me.  I couldn't help but smile and say 'nice work!'  She then lifted herself on to the top bunk & smiled.  So I told her that it was fine to do that - but only if mommy or daddy was around.  Partly for safety, but also because I love watching the kids try crazy things (within reason).   It's like when she went skateboarding last summer (at age 2).  Don't worry, she had a helmet!


EXAMPLE #3 - Eat imaginary fears
Sparkplug was keeping Sparkles awake (they share a room in our rental) so I took her out for a while. She decided that I was the king and she was the princess.  Suddenly she got afraid of the dragons flying around the ceiling.  So I did what any king would do... I reached up, caught them and ate them.  She noticed some more dragons shortly after, so I asked if I should eat them too and her reply was 'no, they can't bother us anymore'.

It reminded of a time when Mario was 2.  He was screaming & scared that a skunk was under his bed and after an hour we still couldn't settle him.  So, being the hillbilly I am, and crawled under the bed, grabbed the skunk, and proceeded to 'eat it'.  When I sat up, my little boy was sitting there smiling and immediately went to bed.  We only ever heard about the skunk a few more times at bedtime, but it was always with a smile: daddy EAT skunk!


EXAMPLE #4 - When tired, always lie on the floor
Kids can't jump on you as easily on the couch.  And nothing changes a dad's day like little knees being impaled into their back....  Dude in particular seems to need good, hard physical play.  Maybe they all do actually!  And honestly, they need to learn how to get hurt and move on without holding a grudge.  That's what happens when there's 10 elbows flying around in a small space! It's never on purpose, but it always happens with 4 kids competing for how much airtime they can get jumping on dad & getting tickled.  Even when I'm tired from house building or overwhelmed with the demands of ministry, I collapse on the floor - because I always end up energized & laughing.


EXAMPLE #5 - Ask your kids to pray for you 
Because kids can have some incredible prayers and you need all the help you can get!  God has done some very cool things in my life as my kids have prayed for me.  That, and then they know that I am not perfect & all together and that they can be vulnerable with me when needed.  And honestly, sometimes you need someone thanking God for C*stco hotdogs and gymnastics and everything in sight.

Enjoy your week!
I.B.

Back!

Sorry - I've been away in the UK with ministry for 2 weeks.  I'll post something soon.  Kids did great while I was away & my wife was amazing.

Starting to work a little more on Run 143.  Check it out if you are interested in getting involved by helping out, donating or walking/running/biking!  www.run143.com

I.B.

Progress Update

Been putting in the time and seeing some progress.

FIL was in for a day to help (over a week ago) -  it was awesome & perfect timing.  We got some windows in & a couple doors.  Then a few friends stopped by recently to help me lift a couple of 6x6 windows.  As a result of the work, the 'dungeon look' in the basement is now gone - it now has natural light without boarded up windows.  And most of the windows are installed.  The plan is to have all of them finished by the end of tomorrow.  Heating rough in and plumbing has also started and looks like it should be finished by Friday (when we have a progress inspection for our building mortgage).

My roof got delayed a number of times over the last 3 weeks, but they were out finishing it this morning!  I'll snap some pictures tonight when I go to work over there.

I've actually felt like I've had a couple decent days of work on the house in the last 2 weeks.  FIL started around 8:15 when I left to drop all the kids off at school & daycare and we wrapped up the day around 10pm.  I was honestly tempted to keep working, but knew I needed to get home to see my bride and be somewhat functional for the next day!  Putting in 2 hrs here or 3 hours there doesn't feel very good to me.  I just get started & it gets dark or I have some commitment.  I'm looking forward to taking some holidays this summer to put in some monster days.

I'll post some pictures in the next day or 2.

Later,
I.B.

Learning Curve

Some people were a little shocked when I announced that I was going to try and build a house for our family.  And they were right to be shocked!

Before I began building our home, I literally had one hammer (a small finishing hammer - the kind of hammer that is smooth on the head for those of you who don't know), a couple screwdrivers, a utility knife, a sawzall, a tape measure and a few little random bits.  I bought the sawzall - everything else, including the tool box this stuff was in, were gifts.  I'm not exaggerating.  There are kids in junior high that know more about building than I knew.  Maybe there still are!

For as much discouragment there has been about my progress in building, I do like learning curves.  They are good for me - they don't intimidate me.  It's almost better for me to be thrown into the fire and learn as I go.

Maybe that's why I was disappointed watching kite-surfing lessons a year ago.  We were in Africa with Dude sitting on a beach (waiting for his passport to be issued), when this class showed up to kite surf.  I was pretty excited.  The previous couple days we had spent enjoying the ocean and sitting on the beach watching people kite surf - we even met & watched the country's champion jumping in insane ways and flying around the ocean.  I enjoyed it enough that I was considering signing up for lessons (and SuperLu really wanted me to).

But then I started watching the lessons.

They spent 2 full days on the beach.  The first few hours they didn't even try on the gear or touch it.  I was told that day 3 would be in the water, but we were checking out of our B&B that day so I never saw.  That's too much theoretical learning and 'practicing' for me.  I'd like some instruction, but then start testing it out and figure it out on the go with some help.  That's how I learned to surf (I'm not great, but I love it).  Mouth rented a board with me, told me how not to get my face smashed in by the board, showed me how to stand up on the board (and do it quick), and within 10 minutes we were making our way out into the ocean.  I'd rather continue learning while I'm doing it than have all the answers ahead of time.

So maybe house building is right down my alley.  One time!  Not multiple homes - this is a labor of love & hopefully vision, not something I'm looking to do repeatedly!

Later,
I.B.

Perceptions

Expert's wife called last night about a kids birthday party - a time for our family to come and hang out.  During the conversation, she mentioned a phrase that I had never thought of.  It went something like "well, with having a full-time job and a large young family, house building is basically your hobby!".  Then, when talking with a stranger yesterday with my family around, he found out that I was building our house and asked what I did for a living - then remarked that building the house must be my hobby.

Hobby?

That puts me in a different frame of mind about building.

If only it was a hobby that was energizing & fun or marked by leisure!  It's definitely not a hobby that I am almost sneaking out of the house to get to.  There's no buddies calling for me to get out & build with them (like going golfing or wall-climbing or something else).  But essentially she's right - house building is what happens in (or dominates) my leisure time.  I think most of my expectations about house building have been that it's going too slow or I don't know enough.  The comparison is with people who build full-time or the other houses around that are going up quicker than mine.  Realizing it's more of a hobby than another job could actually help me find a little more joy and less pressure to be further ahead.  My expectations of myself are usually incredibly high - managing my own expectations is probably the most difficult area of my daily life.  Working in the plummeting temperatures in the winter and the steep learning curve are a lot easier things for me to deal with than my own expectations!  Another way our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses.

Relating to that, I realized today that expectation/perceptions also keep me from doing well at some other areas or even trying them.  A friend texted me about a topic and I replied that I don't like 'playing games' with people - so politics is not in my future!  To which he replied 'not even survivor?'  I guess I would do alright at survivor - the difference is that there's an expectation that it's a game.  Maybe there's that expectation in politics too - I'll have to ask someone!  But this conversation led me to the fact that my expectations of people or situations or opportunities is what holds me back more than basic skills or abilities.

I could be completely wrong, but it seems like what separates elite athletes is confidence.  A perception that they are superior or better or can get the job done better than the next person.  Certainly all of the training and natural abilities are important, but it's also confidence.  Swagger.  It's the same with public speakers or communicators - their expectation when they begin is that it will be great and it usually is in people's perception (unfortunately even if there's very little substance - they're so confident and charismatic that it masks content).

So I'm working on my perceptions & expectations - and more specifically about building a home for my family.

Later!
I.B.